Samantha

After my earlier optimism things went downhill. Samantha had trouble walking starting on Wednesday, and by Saturday afternoon it got to the point where she was continuously falling down. I stayed home Saturday night to be with her, and ended up taking her to the U of I Small Animal Clinic. They wanted to run some tests on Monday, and I elected to keep her there, so they could monitor her. Sunday we went to see her, and there wasn't much change. She still didn't seem to know what was going on, and while she could walk a little, it still wasn't enough. Monday's tests were a severe blow. All the inidications were that she had cancer, starting in her lungs and spreading to her brain, which was causing her symptoms. We could have elected to have more tests done, but there really wasn't any hope. We decided to let her go. We were able to go Monday night and see her one last time. Her last meal was tuna and liver, the equivalent of kitty junk food, and she enjoyed it tremendously. Before we left, they took an imprint of her paws on a clay disc and gave that to us as a memento.

The hardest thing may be the routine. We've developed so many little habits over the years. I usually feed her, but if Mike gets up before me or if I come home late, the first thing I say to him (after hello or good morning) is "did you feed the cat?" I also find myself looking around, wondering where she is, or if I see movement out of the corner of my eye I expect to see her. I know that in time it will get better, but it's hard right now.

Sam, we really miss you. It's just not the same without you. You had a lot of love in your years with us, and you gave a lot of love back. You will always be in our hearts.

The little victories

I'm on lunch break right now from my Tolkien class, so I thought I'd check in and update on Sam's progress. We're still not sure what's entirely wrong with her. She's starting to have some problems walking. She tends to fall on her left side, and sometimes she'll just sit there for a while, like she's not sure what happened. She went to the vet on Wednesday, and again it was "wait and see". She went back on Friday, and they drew blood and urine in order to test for possible urinary tract infection, as well as other infections that could cause her other symptoms. I dropped her off in the morning and went to go pick her up at lunch. The vet thinks she may have some limited vision, so that's a good sign. She is concerned that Sam's temperature is a little low, so she recommended a heating pad lined with a blanket. While I was talking to the vet, I looked at Sam (who was in her carrier), and saw something I haven't seen in over a week-she was grooming! I'll admit it-I started crying when I saw that.

So back home and back on antibiotics. She's still stumbling around, but she's also starting to "talk" a little more, and I saw her licking her forearm this morning. She's also been using her box (hooray!), so I'm taking the little improvements. We should have the results of her tests back on Monday or Tuesday, so hopefully it will be something definite where they say "yes, she has this, this is how we treat it".

Other than that, not too much has been going on. I think I'm at the official halfway point with my class, so that's pretty exciting. We spent the morning talking about the mythology behind The Lord of the Rings, and divine foreknowledge vs. free will. I think we're talking about good vs. evil this afternoon. Hopefully the professor will talk about the paper we have to write. I've got a couple of possible topics, but I'm not sure if they would be strong enough. We'll have another test this afternoon too.

I just heard the Xbox 360 start up. I have to admit it's pretty cool, and the high definition picture is incredible. Mike downloaded some movie trailers the other day, and they were amazing. We've come a long way from Atari 2600!

Not so good news

Well, it appears that Sam's prognosis was a bit premature. She is blind right now, and we're really hoping it's a temporary condition. We're not sure what happened, it may have been brought on by the anesthesia she was under last week. There have been some cases where cats go blind after being under. Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes it happens later. In this case, (if that is what caused it) it happened a week after she had her tests. If it is temporary, her vision could come back in days, weeks, or months. There are a lot of unknowns here. She's not been herself since this happened, and that's been the hardest thing for me to deal with. She just lays underneath the guest bed. She will come out when I feed her, and then she'll spend some time pacing around the house, as if she's trying to get her bearings.

I've also got to put drops in her eyes to make sure they are hydrated. I think I've ended up with more drops on her fur than in her eyes. I'm scared that I will poke her eye with the dropper.

So keep Samantha in your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully my next post about her will be better news.

First class weekend

Yesterday was the first night of my last class. It's about J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings (and the Silmariliion, I never read that one). Yesterday's and today's class was spent discussing his background, and the things that made him tick (in a literary sense). The professor is a philosphy professor with a lifelong interest in Tolkien, and he is very knowledgeable about not only the books but also the man. He talks for about 45 minutes, then gives us a 15 minute break. At first I thought that was annoying, as I'd rather get out earlier than take so many breaks. After a while, I started appreciating it, as it gave me a chance to stretch my legs. It also made the class go by quicker, although that could be the subject matter.

Today's session dealt a lot with primary and secondary worlds, and secondary belief. Tolkien thought of the real world as the primary world, and all fiction (even mysteries and other stories that could conceivably happen in the real world) takes place in a secondary world. If the author is good, the reader develops a secondary belief, where he or she believes that the story is true in that secondary world. The same can apply for movies. If there is disbelief, where you think "Oh, this is ridiculous, that would never happen, I can't be bothered with this" or suspended disbelief "I know that's not true, but I'll let it go because it's only a story", then the author has not properly done his or her job.

The idea of secondary belief explains why some books or movies stand out. When I read Stephen King's Dark Tower series, or China Mieville's Perdido Street Station, or even The Hobbit, I am completely sucked into the story and believe that what happens in those stories is absolutely true for that world. And it's not just because they literally take place in another world. Tom Wolfe's I Am Charlotte Simmons is an example that takes place in 21st century America, and you completely believe that everything that happens is true in that world.

Class was scheduled to go until 6 today, but at 2:30 he stopped lecturing and gave us our first exam. This consisted of picking two out of four essay questions and answering them. No specific length, just answer them as completely as you can. So I was home by 3:30, and therefore have a little more weekend than I had originally planned. Not sure what's on tap for the rest of the night, hopefully a martini (or two). If Mike's not "movied out" we'll probably watch one of our recent (or not so recent) acquisitions.

Update on Sam

Well, her Royal Highness is doing very well. She came home on Tuesday and went straight for her food dish. She then spent most of the night sleeping. That's pretty much a typical night for her anyway. The vet was going to get back to me on Thursday with her lab results. After playing phone tag, I finally talked to her today. Samantha's bloodwork is excellent for a cat her age. There is a little concern that she may have a urinary tract infection. I stopped at the vet's on the way home and picked up some pills. Giving her medication is usually not fun, and I finally have it down to a science. Her pills are ground up and put in a little bit of canned food, which she normally doesn't get. You would think she would realize by now that the only time she gets the good stuff is when she has to take medicine, but she probably just doesn't care. Nothing like beef and chicken entree-yum yum! I'm also supposed to obtain a urine sample when she's done with the medication. I am so looking forward to that.......

Samantha's trip to the vet

Her Royal Highness Samantha visited the veterinarian today for her geriatric profile. This is a series of tests that the vet suggests starting at age 8 (she's 12 now). In the past, I've always declined having her undergo tests. After all, she's been healthy for the most part, and she absolutely hates going to the vet. She goes from my little sweetheart to Raging Demon Queen. She went to the vet in May for her rabies shot, and the vet recommended again that she undergo these tests. Since she was unable to examine her (she barely managed to give her the shot), I thought it might be wise to have these tests done. I could bring her in before work and pick her up on the way home, and they could sedate her in order to draw blood, etc.

After a bit of finagling, I finally managed to get her in her carrier. I recently replaced her old plastic carrier with one of those "duffel bag" type carriers, and it is much easier to carry her in that. She started crying as soon as I started the car. When I got to the vet, I had to wait for a few minutes since they were already pretty busy. As soon as I handed her over to the tech, she started hissing. Yep, that's my little girl!

Around 10 am I received a call from the vet. Surprise surprise, they were unable to examine her, so they needed to sedate her. Had she eaten this morning? I usually give her food in the morning, but I wasn't sure if she had eaten anything or not. They have to wait a certain amount of time after eating to sedate her. So, she's staying overnight so they could wait as long as they needed to before running their tests.

So no furry lump next to my feet tonight. I'm sure she'll be in a fine mood tomorrow when she comes home, but it's for her own good. Maybe she'll get an extra treat or two to make up for it.

Friehouse for Sale!

How would you like to own your very own firehouse in Milwaukee? Granted, the neighborhood isn't the greatest, but still-it's a firehouse! Pole, unfortnately, not inlcuded.

To Tattoo or Not To Tattoo?

That is the question. But not the Ultimate Question, because 42 makes no sense as answer.

Anyway, I'm debating whether or not to get a tattoo. This is something that I've thought of a few times over the years, but never did anything, mainly because I couldn't decide on what to get. I got the bug a few months ago, and started looking at tattoo forums for ideas as well as tips on what (and what not) to do. I've narrowed it down to two possible choices. The first one is a musical note (or series of notes). Music has always been an important part of my life, and this would represent it well. (Much better than the Pearl Jam tattoo I wanted during the heyday of grunge). The other design I am debating is a paw print. This has a couple of meanings. Not only does it represent my love of cats, but also Eastern's mascot is the Panthers, and the symbol is a paw print. Since I thought of the tattoo as a graduation present to myself, that would fit as well.

The next question is where to put it. I'd like to be able to show it to people, but at the same time I don't want to have it out in the open since I work in a professional environment. The first place I thought of was on the small of my back, but there's not a lot of flesh there and that could hurt. The other place I was thinking about was near my hip bone. Plenty of flesh there so hopefully it wouldn't hurt so much, but one of my coworkers is thinking about getting a tattoo in that spot and I don't want anyone to think I'm copying her. Then again, who cares? She's got a tattoo on her back also, and there's only so many places I can put a tattoo.

The last question is the pain. Some people I talk to say it doesn't hurt so much, and others say it really hurts. Mike thinks I wouldn't be able to handle it, so of course I want to prove him wrong. I have a problem with needles, but this isn't like giving blood, where the needle is inserted into your body. It's more like getting pricked with a pin. Over and over again. Right????

So why do I really want a tattoo? Honestly, I can't think of a good reason besides "I want one". It's not to be a rebel, because tattoos are pretty acceptable nowadays. It's almost more rebellious not to have one. I think before I do anything, I need to visit my tattoo parlor of choice and get more information. If anyone out there has any tattoo experiences (good or bad) and would like to share, please do!